Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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