please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
