Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize