told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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