i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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