READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
