My girlfriend figured out who you are.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Bring me that man meat
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
