why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
