Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
