ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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