she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
