I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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