I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
