dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
