If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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