u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize