In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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