matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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