Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
