did you get engaged???
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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