I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
