names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
