someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
