i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Pooping to opera.
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