problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I would ride that face into the sunset
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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