So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
