so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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