At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
