I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
