Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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