Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
