margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
