So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
