rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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