I want to stick my p in your. b.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
