you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
