I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
