I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
When are your genitals available?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Shame - the story of my life.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
