There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
