Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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