Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
