No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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