his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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