You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
