i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Randomize
