Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
