I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
