Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
