The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
