Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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