Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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