I wannas sexs uuuuu
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize