so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
