Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
