There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
