She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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