You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
