If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
