yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
