Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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